Contemplation
by jaderaid
Summary: Season 5. Telemachus Rhade, out of A Home That Will Never Exist Again, by Someone No One Even Cares About Anymore. There is no further point in surviving when no one cares.
1. Part 1

**Contemplation**

**M. A. Jordan (Jade Rhade)**

A/N: Takes place shortly after episode #516, Saving Light From A Black Sun.

-xXx-

_I can't take it anymore _

_I can't take it anymore _

_I can't take it anymore _

_Forget tomorrow_

_I just wanna jump. _

_'Jump'_ Simple Plan

-xXx-

Telemachus Rhade out of Majorum by Rhade stood in the Obs Deck, facing the large window that gave it its name. So much had changed since he had first joined the _Andromeda_'s crew: fully over a year ago. All the events that had happened since, he could not fully remember, but there were many he would never forget.

Seefra was an abandoned hellhole of a system. Telemachus could not believe how low he had sunk in the time following his... expulsion from Arkology. Part of him wanted to go and simply kill Dylan, but Rhade knew that Hunt was the only reason they were still alive. His near-death experience escaping from Seefra's newly repaired sun had given him pause.

Why? He had no idea, but at that moment, when the sun had reignited and they were safely away, Telemachus had the feeling of _meaning_ something, being more important than a mercenary-for-hire. Some of the others may have had no difficulties in adjusting to their new way of life, but not him.

He never had been forced to live like this before. Terazed had always been a safe haven. His family was wealthy and powerful, and though he was not spoiled, he never had to worry about not having enough to eat or being alone. Surprisingly, he had adjusted into his new lifestyle relatively well.

_Well. Compared to what?_ Telemachus wondered. What is the pointof continuing? There was no hope of their ever going back to the Known Worlds at the time they had left. What time _had_ they even left? Harper had been deposited here for three years, Beka for six months, the others more.

_What is the point?_ There is none. No reason to continue life but for its own survival.

Telemachus drew the pistol from his hip and looked it over as if seeing it for the first time. He had never contemplated suicide before, but now seemed as good a time as any. Nietzschean. How that word cursed him, condemned him to live a life only for his own survival. Perhaps he should just end it now and save everyone the hassle of putting up with the meaningless Telemachus Rhade, out of A Home That Will Never Exist Again by Someone No One Even Cares About Anymore.

No one ever cares about what happens to him. He's just another gun for Dylan to point at his enemies in the vain hope of escape.

Telemachus Rhade, out of A Home That Will Never Exist Again by Someone No One Even Cares About Anymore.

**A/N: Short? Depressing? This actually was supposed to be a HAPPY fic, though how it ended up like this I'll never know. Reviews ARE needed, or I will go InSaNe! Oh, wait... too late for that. :P review anyway? Please?**


	2. Part 2

**Contemplation (Part 2)**

**M. A. Jordan (Jade Rhade)**

-xXx-

_And in the ever_

_dark'ning night_

_there shall be one of_

_everlasting light._

'Lacarsse Verses' by M. A. Jordan

-xXx-

His knife drawn along with his gun, he contemplated the best method.

_Slit his wrist?_ Too slow. He sheathed the knife.

_Chest shot?_ No guarantee of swift death.

_Head shot?_ Messy, but quick and certain death assured.

He raised the gun slowly, pressing the barrel against his temple.

The door hissed open, and Beka walked in. For a moment her eyes met his, and he read shock and horror in her gaze.

"Farewell, Matriarch," he whispered, and closed his eyes, tightening his finger on the trigger.

A single shot.

Then silence.

**A/N: don't you HATE it when people do this? Part 3, coming on Monday, along with the first chapter of... (drumroll, please!) Fallen Angel! (hopefully)**


	3. Part 3

**Contemplation (Part 3)**

**M. A. Jordan (Jade Rhade)**

-xXx-

_One shot is a quick, _

_Swift path to redemption._

_One way or another._

'Lacarsse Verses' by M. A. Jordan

-xXx-

Telemachus opened his eyes to see Beka's pistol pointed at him, still smoking. She had shot his gun out of his hand.

A sudden trembling assaulted him as he realized what he had been about to do.

Beka holstered her gun and approached him. "Telemachus Rhade, out of Majorum by Rhade, what were you _thinking_?" She was immediately sorry for her harsh tone when she realized how shaken he truly was.

She had used his full name. His Pride and his lineage. He stood there, still trembling, dropping the remains of his pistol to the deck with a clang.

Beka put her arm around his shoulders. Slowly, she guided him out of the Obs Deck; the door hissing shut behind them.

The smoking pistol lay abandoned on the floor.

He was not forgotten.

The End

A/N: yes, I know I said not 'til Monday, but I'm feelin generous. Thanx for the reviews, and Happy Easter, y'all from the Jade Rhade!


End file.
